last night was the worst night of my whole life. literally. first of all, i probably gained like 20 pounds just from how drunk i was, i drank way too much. I went out with my ex boyfriend at like, 2am. I thought i could trust him to just joke around and have a good time. Untill he started kissing me. And then he took my pants off. I told him i couldn’t have sex with him and that i didn’t want to but he did it anyways. I had to make him stop so i ran away and told him i had to leave. So i said goodbye and i ran home. I am disgusted with myself. I feel dirty, and like no amount of showers will ever make me clean. He has a girlfriend. She is my best friend. He told me that he never loved her and that he’s always wanted me. He told me that the reason he even wanted to hangout with me is cause he’s always wanted to fuck me. I told him no. Because of my boyfriend, who i love more than life itself. Honestly, my boyfriend means the world to me and i need him to be mine forever. So i told him everything this morning. He was pissed. At me, but mostly at my ex. I guess when i got home i felt really guilty about how much i had ate and what i had done, so i got out my razor and i added 12 new scars to my collection. I am disgusting and i don’t know how i’m going to get through this. I could really use one of my amazing followers to talk to, so leave me a message if you’re up for it. just some encouragment to keep going maybe.
i love you guys, and i’m sorry that i let this happen.